SCRAPBOOK

birdie baby pictures

After Birdie crash-landed her meteor in Boone, NC, two lesbians stumbled upon the wreckage of the unfortunate Ram's Rack bus stop. Birdie was feeling hungry for Fancy Feast "Salmon & Shrimp Feast" so she decided to go ahead and live with them. Since then Birdie has traveled across NC's mountains, piedmont, and coastal plains with these lesbians. Birdie is so loved.

Birdy

This is the first known image of Birdie. Imagine this creature standing in the center of a crater, still smoking from the harrowing journey through Earth's atmosphere. What terrible power. What lovely kitten posture.

Birdie Laying Around

Don't be fooled by her tiny angelic face. She is a vicious creature and a horrible con artist. But I still like her anyway.

Birdie Sitting

A fun fact of her childhood is that Birdie would play so hard she would break her whiskers off regularly. There would just be stumps of whiskers all over her face until they grew out again. She looked absolutely ridiculous.

Birdie Looking Up

When Birdie was young her eyes often went in slightly different directions. Honestly, I don't know why she does this. Birdie still has this talent today.

!RADIATION WARNING!

These images were recovered from the wreckage of a nuclear waste treatment facility, as can be seen by their degraded quality. When viewed directly, Baby Bird contains enough raw, unfiltered energy to blight unsuspecting readers off the face of the Earth. Click "See more" for information on health concerns related to Baby Bird.

If you have experienced symptoms such as full-body convulsing, illnesses of the four humors (blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile), estatic dance, sleeplessness, uncontrollable Chewy spending, or increased itchiness, it's much too late. By the time you're done reading this, there's a 99.99% chance that you have contracted radiation poisoning. Your only hope is to pray to Birdie for mercy.

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